I'll never be a gardener

For years, I've tried to foster life in the form of tomato plants, zucchini, peas, greens.  Every year, I've been a failure.  It started with small plants on my patio.  When those failed to flourish, I blamed it on the shallow pots.
Then my land lady allowed me to use a small plot of land in the yard.  This should have been ideal, but again, things didn't progress.  The plants were a lot bigger, sure, but the fruit they produced were measly.  I blamed it on the poor soil (lots of clay, and limited direct light.
Then I married and moved to a new apartment with lots of light, and a small balcony.  Perfect!  Get some nice big pots to give everything lots of room, there's lots of light. I bought some carrot seeds, too, and cucumber seeds, all heirloom and gorgeous.   Everything will blossom and be beautiful and I'll have tomatoes aplenty.

Nope.

Now, we're in a home of our own, so I tried again.  Went with the pots again, thinking that moving in, cooking up a baby, and dealing with an imminent layoff was enough to deal with in one summer.  But this time, limited myself.  Zucchini and tomato.  From a seedling I bought at a local nursery.  What can go wrong?

I think I'm on the only person on the planet unable to grow a zucchini.

Look at this tiny thing.  Lots of flowers, no fruit.  Again.

I compare my garden with the one my mother grew in New Jersey growing up.  Stuff got huge!  We were picking beans everyday just to keep up.  We had to foist zucchini off on neighbors.  My parents would eat home grown tomatoes as big as your fist for dinner most nights.  And all i've got is one tiny tomato.

My sister in Ohio is similarly blessed.

I guess the gene skipped over me.